5 Perfect Christmas Gifts For A Girlfriend

The 5 perfect Christmas gifts for a girlfriend are means of you showing how much your little, precious, bundle of sex-and-joy, your girlfriend, really means to you. Whatever stage of your relationship--whether it's just meaningless and cheap casual sex, long-term commitment, or a state where she wears the pants in the relationship--these Christmas gifts are sure to tell your little, precious sweetie that she means the world to you.

1. Cook N Home 15 Piece Non stick Aluminum Soft handle Cookware Set. The best perfect Christmas gift for your girlfriend is this cookware set, plain and simple. While her little, inner feminist may at first rebel and curse you with spite for implying that females should be confined to the kitchen, just make her see that a cookware set gift really just conveys to her how you see her as not only a girlfriend, but also a domestic goddess who can take care of her boyfriend (in addition to providing good sex).
2. The Psychologist's Book of Personality Tests. The second-best perfect gift you can give to your sweetie pie of a girlfriend for Christmas is this gem of a book written by a doctor who specializes in personality problems. While your gal pal may initially protest a bit too much, just calm her overly emotional feelings of unreasonable passion by explaining to her--in a cool and collected voice that shows male rationalizing skill--that reading this book will only help her to develop a better personality, something that is sure to help you in your relationship (not to mention in the bedroom, too).
3. Josephine Red & Pink Polka Dot Apron. This apron is clearly the third-best perfect Christmas gift that you can buy your girlfriend. Just watch her eyes light up and her pretty mouth form excited squeals of elation when she opens this exquisite gift on Christmas morning! While she may at first wrongly assume that this gift is sexist, just reassure your little lass that it merely conveys to her your confidence in her ability to eventually turn into the loving and caring matron that she can be, one who can just as easily jump into the kitchen to bake you a pie as she can jump into bed to sexually please you.
4. New Musk for Women. The fourth-best perfect Christmas gift for your little reason for living of a girlfriend is this great musk product that comes in a body spray form. While your girlfriend may at first jump to the conclusion that you are implying that she stinks, tell her that it's her feminist mind running wild again. Gently explain to her--so to avoid hurting her little feelings--that the musk is meant to simply make her smell better than how she already smells. After that, watch her eyes light up with the joy that only smelling better can bring.
5. i-pill Emergency Contraceptive Pill. The final best perfect Christmas gift to grant to your little sweetie pie is the i-pill Emergency Contraceptive Pill, if for nothing else than the fact that you are symbolizing how much you want to ensure that she doesn't lose her figure from an unplanned pregnancy (or have to wrestle with the troubling thought of either keeping the baby or aborting it!). Just think of the magical moment on Christmas morning when, in the glow of the Yuletide tree's flickering candles, your girlfriend sees her gift of contraceptive pills! She'll love you more for guaranteeing that the two of you can continue having sex without the nagging worry of bringing a new life into the world.