The 5 best sex positions are those positions that you definitely want to try—at least one lousy time before you die. Since sex is everything in life and nothing else matters in comparison to it, you really are only hurting yourself by not getting yourself some, a lot of the time, freak.
- The Pinball Wizard. The pinball wizard is the best sex position not only because of its video game-like name, but also because it supposedly promises you and your sex partner deeper penetration! And, if you think about it, isn't that what everyone who's ever had sex wants…deeper penetration?! Of course, it is! Get your woman into a bridge position with her weight placed fully on her little shoulders. Get yourself into a kneeling position, hot shot, and penetrate the heck out of her. You will be able to get at your woman's clitoris easily in this sex position.
- Reverse Cowgirl. The Reverse Cowgirl position is the second best sex position since it allows your woman the privilege of, for just one time, taking control of your sexual encounter. Lie on your back as your woman straddles you and mounts while she is looking at your small feet. For more leverage, simply ask your woman to position her shins and knees inside your legs and also under your thighs.
- Scoop Me Up. No, this sex position has nothing to do with ice cream or how many scoops you should put on your cone. Instead, it maximizes the skin contact you share with your sex partner, heightening your lust. Lie with your woman on your side and face the same direction. Have your little lady barely bring her knees up so that you can slide up behind her and delicately position your erect penis into her vagina. For more thrusting action, just put your hands on her shoulders as you thrust your hips into her like there is no tomorrow.
- Butter Churner. The Butter Churner churns its way into the fourth-best sex position since it gives your woman a rush of blood to her head (while your blood still continues rushing into your penis, so don't worry about that), supposedly heightening the feelings of pleasure. Order your woman to lie on her back with her legs folded over so her little, delicate ankles are placed on either side of her pretty face. Then, proceed to squat as you systematically continue dipping and then removing your penis from her vagina, churning her like she deserves to be…churned!
- Face-off. No…no…not the movie from 1997 starring Nicholas Cage, but, rather, this Face-off is the fifth-best sex position due to it letting you advance to a marathon sex session, should your woman be able to handle all that non-stop sexing that you are easily capable of, big boy. Just sit down anywhere and then instruct your little lady to come hither and sit on your nearly ready-to-explode penis, looking at you while in your lap.