Follow these 5 tips for overcoming fear of intimacy so that you can have the best possible relationship with your girlfriend or wife. Fear of intimacy can prevent you from fully communicating your needs to your partner or listening to her when she tries to let you know what she needs. Overcoming fear of intimacy will help you live the life you deserve and receive the love you need.
- Figure out your baggage. Everyone has baggage that they bring into a relationship. If you struggle with fear of intimacy, most likely your baggage has something to do with it. You may have grown up with parents who were disinterested or a siblings who constantly made fun of you, which now makes you less likely to reach out and connect with others. You may want to talk with a therapist to discover the underlying issue.
- Learn to trust and to be trusted. Trust is a huge part of a healthy relationship. You may struggle to overcome your fear of intimacy because you've been burned by dishonesty in the past. Part of learning to trust involves becoming trustworthy to your partner. Be open and honest with her, particularly about your fear of intimacy.
- Get over the past. Fear of intimacy can also stem from having your heartbroken by a lover in the past. You may think that'll it just happen again and refuse to get close to someone as a protective measure. Keep in mind that your current girlfriend is not your previous girlfriend and that she may not break your heart if you let her in, but you'll probably break hers if you continue to keep her out.
- Relax about sex and dating. A fear of rejection or performance anxiety can keep you away from love. If you ask a girl out and she says no, that's the worse that will happen. Ask another girl out and she may say yes. When it comes time to have sex with someone, take it slow. Communicate to her your fears about sex. If it's your first time, let her know that too.
- Just jump in. Sometimes the only way to overcome a fear of intimacy is to open your mouth and say what you are thinking or feeling. She may be disgusted by your opinion, but she may not be. You won't know until you express yourself. If she doesn't like what you have to say, she's probably not the girl for you anyway.