Use the 5 worst Bon Jovi albums to scare away annoying pests. We aren't sure how it happened, but somewhere in the mid 1990's Bon Jovi hung up the spandex pants of the arena rock gods and became the band you mom bumps in her mini van. Bon Jovi isn't the first band to hit middle age and trade in legion of teenage fans for comfort of wuss rock. But somehow their downfall is one of the more annoying.
- "Circle" (2009)– At this point Bon Jovi has given up. The lead single, "When We Were Beautiful" sounds like Jon stole it out of one of Bono's notebooks while he was on a bender. It's bland mediocre pop that tries to pass itself off as Rock and Roll and it is nauseating. Sadly this isn't the worst song that Bon Jovi has on this album, their non-conformist anthem "We Weren't Born to Follow" sounds like the call to follow. Follow a gaggle of middle-aged men with bad hair cuts down the road to mediocre wuss rock. Unfortunately "Circle" probably isn't the last last bad Bon Jovi album that we will have shoved at us.
- "Have A Nice Day" ( 2005)– As an album, "Have A Nice Day" is Bon Jovi's attempt to revive their hard rock roots while still keeping their strangle hold on soccer moms, sheltered sorority girls and the people who sell elevator music. The only thing edgy about this Bon Jovi album is the sarcastic smiley face on the cover. Actually that's not really edgy, but at this point in the list, we felt we should try to say something nice.
- "Crush" ( 2000)– "It's My Life" became the theme song for frustrated soccer moms and sorority girls all over the planet. Every time we saw someone's mom rocking out to this in the car or heard it pumped into an elevator, we died a little bit inside. Crush also has the distinction of being the album the brought Bon Jovi back from the obscurity of the 90's and back into the consciousness of the mainstream. It is the album that destroyed what little Rock cred the band had left.
- "These Days" (1995)– This was the first album Bon Jovi made without long time bassist Alec John Sure. It featured, among other things, the country-pop train wreck "Something For The Pain". The only good thing about this album is that Jon still had his mullet, and we all know how entertaining a good mullet can be. Sadly years later Jon traded in his mullet for a hair cut that makes him look like an old lesbian. The jury is still out on which look is the lamest.
- "Keep The Faith" (1992)– For the first time Bon Jovi trades in their heavy drums and epic guitar solos for the soft steady grooves of wuss rock. "Bed of Roses" was a big hit for the chick flick scene and "I Believe" was just an all around horrible song. The first time we heard this album was when we began to loose our faith in humanity. We still haven't recovered.