Codependent Relationships

Codependent relationships can leave you feeling drained and stressed. Relationships are supposed to be healthy and comfortable. It should not mean living only to please someone else or sacrificing your own happiness for that person. 

Always fixing the problem. If you find yourself always fixing problems in your relationship, your partner may be codependent. Someone who always does something wrong but blames you can be the main problem. Do not confuse love with abuse. You should not feel bad about the wrongs of someone else. Fixing the problem at the moment will not fix the relationship. It simply allows the person to continue making you feel guilty.

Keeps you from friends and family. If you lose most or all of your friends because your girl clings like Reynold's Wrap, you may be in a codependent relationship. A girlfriend who constantly whines for your attention or time is not a very good girlfriend. You should be able to spend time with your family and friends without feeling like a trapped animal. It is healthy for you and your relationship.

Puts you down. Relationship problems of this type may involve putting you down or attacking your self-esteem. Telling you how to do something because they think you are dumb or just plain stupid is wrong. If this is a problem in your relationship, tell the other person to take a hike. You do not need someone attacking your character, sensibilities or smarts. This is usually a tactic to keep you dependent on them.

Let someone treat you bad. You may be codependent if you let someone treat you bad all day, every day. It may make you feel wanted even though the behavior is not healthy. Someone who takes abusive behavior may have been told that they are not worthy at some point in their life. Although some people enjoy being told what to do sexually, being told what to do in every other area of your life is not a good thing. You should not be told when to sleep, eat or go out. You may even avoid good girls for the bad ones. Unless you are just freaky like that, you are probably codependent.

Counseling is often a route most relationships with codependency take. Sometimes it helps; sometimes it does not. You can re-evaluate your relationship if it is codependent. If the other person is willing to change or meet you half-way, the relationship can be saved. If not, send them on their merry way.

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