The Different Stages Of A Healthy Relationship

By: Jeffrey Little

Break Studios Contributing Writer

The different stages of a healthy relationship are not unlike the stages of death’s realization voiced by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her brilliant surmise concerning the five stages of dying. You should learn to recognize these stages, as this will help you also understand that, where a healthy relationship is concerned, you will likely feel many different emotions.

  1. Denial. This is the point where you feel that what you consider a healthy relationship is purely physical (and your partner more than likely shares the same questioning feelings). This stage should be moved beyond as soon as possible, since such questioning is counter-productive and might very probably cause both of you to part with bad feelings. So simply talk to your partner in a manner as honest as possible before this occurs and destroys any chance of properly experiencing all the different stages of a healthy relationship.
  2. Anger. Why am I in love? I don’t need this. But maybe you do need this. So think about it and then discuss it with your partner, since she might be sharing the same feelings. More specifically, as mentioned in the previous stage, you should realize that the best way to resolve this issue before it becomes malignant is to simply have a frank talk with the one you’re with before things get ugly and cause the relationship to be anything but healthy.
  3. Bargaining. This is the, “Should we live together, be monogamous, procreate or call it quits" discussion. Chances are that your partner wants the same things from your relationship as you do, so realize this while moving forward. More specifically, don’t make a big deal out of home furnishings, a lack of hot water in the morning and other minor squabbles and cause them to become major issues. These are basically nothing in comparison to the important incidentals that comprise a truly healthy relationship.
  4. Depression. Life is full of trade-offs. So realize this as you ask yourself, “Is this the end of my indiscriminate flirting and have I abandoned all my freedom in general to be in a relationship?” Then, avoid depression by understanding that the pros of an actual relationship should make you happy as opposed to sad in that they more than likely outweigh the cons.
  5. Acceptance. Once the previous queries are answered to your satisfaction, you (and your partner) will hopefully believe, “We’re in love and should do this thing, forsaking all others. So let's just become a couple in the hopes that it’s the right move.“

So ask yourself if the relationship you’re in definitively answers these questions in a way that pleases you. And if it does, you should most certainly pursue it. But also realize that love is an indefinable entity. So keep this in mind no matter what as you define what you consider to be a healthy relationship.

Posted on: Sep. 05, 2010