Dress Like A Rockstar
Any guy worth his salt wants to dress like a rockstar, because he knows it is the best way to pick up unbelievably hot chicks. Famous guys get to hook up with chicks that would otherwise be out of their league, so learning how to dress like a rockstar will enable even the strangest looking guys to start dating hot women. There are many different styles that different legends of rock have chosen to go with down the years which means that anyone who wants to dress like a rockstar has plenty of style tips at his disposal. The following tips are the best and for those who choose to dress like a rockstar, a whole new world awaits them.
To become a rockstar, you will need:
- Black plants
- White frilly shirt
- Long tailed coat
- Top hat
- Grow you hair and throw away your shampoo. Before you can dress like a rockstar you have to physically resemble a rockstar. Rockers are too busy getting drunk, running from the cops and having sex to have time for things like washing their hair. There would be no barbers in the world if all men were to dress like a rockstar, because rockers let their hair grow until either it falls out or gets burnt off in a freak accident with a lighter.
- Buy some really tight black stretchy pants. To the untrained eye it might look as though rockstars wear leggings, but in fact those are just really uncomfortable pants made out of inexpensive material. Find a pair that barely cover your back side and preferably emphasize your upper front side. If necessary, stuff some old socks down in the groin area if you feel you need some extra help to dress like a rockstar.
- Buy a white shirt with a frilly collar. You will not be able to find one of these shirts in the local mall so consider going to a museum where they have seventeenth century men's formal wear. Ideally, find a shirt with egg or blood stains on it, but just a few blood stains like the ones you get from shaving, because too much blood will make you look like a punk singer and not a rock star. The shirt should be as baggy as the pants were tight.
- Buy a long tailed coat. Try and find a black tuxedo jacket that has short sleeves. You need the unbuttoned cuffs of your shirt sleeves to be visible, so make sure the jacket only covers your back, shoulders and upper arms. Try and find one that is really long though to increase the odds of drunk people slipping on it and giving you a chance to show how tough you are by tackling them when they confront you.
- Buy a top hat. Do not buy a black one—you do not want to wear too much black or you will start to look too death metal. Buy a grey one and preferably one that is a bit misshapen and dusty, because that will give it an authentic kind of look. Once dressed, throw a couple of beers over yourself so that your clothes become stained and smell of alcohol. Dump some cigarette ash on your jacket so it has the smell that the jacket of a real rocker would have after hundreds of post show parties. Take off the outfit and let the beer dry. You are now ready to dress like a rock star