Funny Drinking Quotes

It is always good to have some funny drinking quotes handy when you are out on the town with your friends. The more funny drinking quotes you can call on, the quicker your delivery can be when someone sets you up. Funny drinking quotes can help you to meet new people and get everyone laughing at the same time.

1. "I do not have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk I fall down - no problem." - anonymous. No one is really sure who started this funny drinking quote, but it has appeared on t-shirts and bumper stickers all over the world for years. Although, it is debatable as to whether or not the bumper of a car is the best place for a funny drinking quote. The police may not appreciate it.
2. "You should not drink and bake." - Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold first said this funny drinking quote in the movie "Raw Deal" (1986) right before an intoxicated Kathryn Harrold, playing his wife, threw a cake at him. People that use this quote today often do not know where it came from. It has become so popular in bars across the United States that it has almost achieved cult status.
3. "A man's got to believe in something. I believe I will have another drink." - W.C. Fields. W.C. Fields was well known for several funny drinking quotes, but this was the funniest of the group. Most of Fields' comedy material was based around drinking and his disdain for children. Fields enjoyed a drink or two in real life, as shown by his bulbous red nose.
4. "Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. The problem is that I cannot remember if it is the thirteenth or fourteenth drink that does it." - George Burns. Burns was another comedian who based much of his act around drinking. George Burns had an extremely long career that spanned over 60 years. He was famous for his slow shuffle walk, his cigar and his extremely quick wit.
5. "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman. Henny Youngman's claim to fame was the quick delivery of the unexpected punch line, This funny drinking quotes was one of many he was known for. Even though Youngman was famous for his unexpected ending to a joke, by the time he was in his late 40's his audiences already knew his act word for word. But he still packed rooms where ever he went.