Funny Facebook Quotes

Funny Facebook quotes are clever little sayings that you can use for your statuses, and they’re sure to be a hit with your friends. If you’re looking for something to get your Facebook friends “laughing out loud,” these Facebook quotes are sure to do the trick!

  1. “Tip of the Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked, “Do you have any firearms with you?” do not reply, “What do you need?” Anybody that has ever had to endure airport security will get a big laugh out of this one, and it’s one of the best quotes you can use for your Facebook status.
  2. “Have you ever had a fly or small winged insect land on your computer screen and your first reaction was to try and scare it with the cursor?” You’ve probably been there. It’s late at night, and you’re either browsing the web or working on a school paper that’s due directly the next morning. All of a sudden, a bug attracts to your computer screen and completely distracts you from what you’re doing. You’ve probably felt overly compelled to jiggle the cursor around and scare the bug off. This is incredibly funny for some reason and the thought makes for one of the greatest Facebook quotes.
  3. “I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, but they say suicide is a crime.” Are you a little full of yourself? Do you like poking fun at yourself to get a couple of laughs out of others? This is one of those quotes that is sure to be a hit once it hits the news feed.
  4. “I just got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with ‘According to the prophecy…’” If you’ve ever been called to do jury duty, then you probably know that you have to answer a series of questions to determine whether or not you’d be suitable for judging a specific case. Beginning every one of your answers with “according to the prophecy” probably won’t get you called to do any jury duty work, which could work out to your benefit in the long run!
  5. “Whoever says paper beats rock in “Paper, Rock, Scissors” is a moron, and the next time someone tells me that, I’m going to throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.” It’s a very funny concept, but it’s so true! This is definitely one of those quotes that makes you think. Why does paper beat rock in “Paper, Rock, Scissors?” Paper definitely gets the short end of the stick when it comes to being used as a weapon against a rock, so why in the world is it more powerful than a rock in this child’s game. The world may never know.
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