Funny Voicemail Greetings

The reason that funny voicemail greetings are more effective than the old answering machine messages is because voicemail sounds like someone has answered the phone. You can use funny voicemail greetings to frustrate or amuse people. Just be sure that you let people off the hook by revealing your funny voicemail greeting in time for them to leave a message.

  1. "Hi, hey. How you doing?" This trick of making people believe you had answered the phone and were having a conversation with them used to be hit or miss on answering machines. But as a funny voicemail greeting, it is flawless. Make sure you pace your message like a natural conversation, and then end it with something like "I'm just kidding you, leave a message."
  2. "What? What?!! WHAT!!" This funny voicemail greeting may get old for people quickly, but the first few times they hear it they will think it is hilarious. Just keep saying "what?" into the phone acting like you cannot hear the person on the other end. Let it escalate until you are almost screaming and then say "Just leave a message!"
  3. The UFO greeting. This funny voicemail greeting requires some planning and some acting abilities. Your message is a rambling story about how a time when you saw a UFO, but you do it in a voice that makes you sound like you are drunk or stoned. Just keep telling the story until the greeting ends and the beep begins for the message. This greeting is almost as funny as the messages people will leave you.
  4. The Japanese greeting. For some reason, someone speaking Japanese aggressively into a voicemail greeting is extremely funny. If you do not speak Japanese, then that is fine. Just make up something that sounds Japanese, and include long pauses in between your words to add to the effect.
  5. The Psychic greeting. Have someone with a mystic psychic sounding voice leave the following funny voicemail greeting on your voicemail: "(Your name) cannot come to the phone right now. But, I have already told him what you want, and your number, so he will get back to you soon." You will be amazed at how many people do not leave a message. Just be sure that you have caller ID so you can check to see who did call and call back anyone important.
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