Getting An Ex Back

Getting an ex back, as fearsome as it might seem, really isn't all that daunting of a task. After all, you already know that an attraction existed at one point. This means that there is a solid foundation on which to build. But at the same time, there was also a reason that she became an ex. Knowing how to navigate these often messy, emotional situations is vital to getting an ex back. It requires finesse, maturity, and the ability to empathize – but getting an ex back can indeed be done. Here's a basic guide to how it's done.

1. If the breakup was perceived to be your fault, time may be all that's needed. As the old adage goes, “time heals all wounds”. It's considered an adage because it's true. As tough as it might be, simply waiting out the anger and raw feelings concerning a recently ended relationship is often enough to mend things down the road. Additionally, that time will allow you to get a little introspective and determine the underlying reasons for you and your ex's breakup. If they were in part caused by you (which they almost always are, at least a little bit), make a concerted effort to work on those qualities.

2. When the time is right, initiate contact. In general, you can judge whether she has any lingering bitterness by how you feel. If you're still mad, odds are she is too. But when you've been apart for awhile and find yourself reminiscing about you and your ex's time together often, the time is close to coming. When you do contact her, be sure to keep it cordial and friendly. A good all purpose way to start the process of getting an ex back is simply to invite her for some coffee or a meal in order to catch up. This subtly lets her know that you've been thinking about her without going overboard.

3. Don't be afraid of the friend zone at first. It's generally not a good idea to confess your undying love for your ex the first time you two get together. Again, finesse and subtlety are essential. Don't drop uncomfortable references to the relationship too soon, and try to play it semi-cool. As you two start talking, any rekindling of old flames will quickly become obvious.

4. Be the person she fell in love with. Remember how you acted in the first stages of you and your ex's relationship? Be that person. Try to remember little compliments and praises she gave you in the past, and make an effort to accentuate those details. If, for instance, she liked how funny you were during the relationship, be playful and upbeat when you get together again.

5. When it feels right, take the plunge. If you've been spending time together and things seem to be going well, the hard part of getting an ex back is over. The last hurdle, of course, is to start fresh as a couple. When you ask her, be sure to emphasize that you want to take things slow from the beginning, and avoid bringing up the first failed relationship. By putting the past where it belongs, you stand a much better chance of getting an ex back for good, instead of having another regret-filled fling.