Hilarious Facebook Statuses

By: D. Michaels

Break Studios Contributing Writer

We all look for amusing things on the Internet to kill time when we’re bored and need a distraction (like when we’re at work), so what better way to kill time than looking for hilarious Facebook statuses updates. Not only do friends provide some of the greatest amusement, their unintentionally funny status updates can be great to use when it comes time to knock them down a peg or two when needed. Here are some of the best we found from some folks who should have known better before hitting ‘send’.

  1. Did we see the same movie? “You must be a triwizard champion because my goblet is on fire” Not only does this make a hilarious Facebook status, but also one of the best nerdy pickup lines ever.
  2. Best political status update of 2011. “brb” This might not seem like a hilarious Facebook status, but consider the context. It was given by Wisconsin Senate Democrat Lena Taylor who was being forced to sit back and watch the Republican-controlled chamber vote to take away most of the bargaining rights of the state’s unions. Instead, she and 13 of her fellow Senators fled the state to prevent the chamber from being called into session. This was the last status update she posted before leaving.
  3. Sounds like a pretty good morning to me.“10 inches isn’t what I expected to get this morning. Or having my boyfriend plowing it at 2am either! Hope my family flies in okay from Texas tomorrow.” Yes, this hilarious Facebook status is probably referring to a snowstorm. We like the other idea better
  4. I don’t think that word means what you think it means. “Organic ketchup and turkey burgers. YUMMY! Guess I’m turning into a vegetarian considering the family I nanny for sure are. :)” If turkey is now a vegetarian dish and not just a hilarious Facebook status, then we need to update our dictionaries.  
  5. MathFAIL. “Eugh I’m 24 next month…Sooo depressed, I’m halfway too 30 next year :(“. We can’t decide if this is just a hilarious Facebook status or just a sad comment on the state of public education in this country.
  6. Words of wisdom. “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.” Ok. Duly noted.
  7. Time to move. “She didn’t know my name but she knew I was from Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were f******”. It’s not only a hilarious Facebook status, but that must have confused the heck out of this guy’s neighbors.
  8. But what do you mix it with? “watchin the sun set, sippin on a penis colada. Man, life is good.” We’re usually love finding drink recipes in hilarious Facebook status updates and the creative names that get applied to them, but in this case, we’ll pass on this one.
Posted on: Mar. 07, 2011