Hilarious Sayings About Girls

The next time one of your buddies asks for advice on women, share one of these hilarious sayings about girls. The quotes may be funny, but there is still much truth in the jest. You know the girls are joking about you, too.

1. "Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me." Even if your baby's got back, comic Tim Allen thinks it is better to say nothing than to say the wrong thing. This is truly a case where silence is golden.
2. "Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone." Original bad boy comic Lenny Bruce understood that you have to sweet talk a lady if you want to keep her happy. If you aren't nice, you'll never get the chance to make her purr.
3. "Girls have an unfair advantage over men: If they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb." Actor Yul Brynner offered that opinion on women and he should know, he was married four times. Maybe those ex-wives weren't so dumb after all.
4. "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity." Albert Einstein wasn't known for his way with the ladies or for being a funny man, but he had a perfect way to explain his theory of relativity. Too bad he didn't live to see the rise of "geek chic," he'd have been a real Casanova.
5. "A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are." The famous attorney Chauncey Mitchell Depew figured you could be a glass half empty guy or a glass half full guy when it came to women. Either way, you get your thirst quenched.