History Of Music

Have you ever been curious about the history of music?  Where did it come from?  And the most important question, how the hell did music evolve into the inaudible noises from Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers, all the way to Miley Cyrus and Rebecca Black? The music history experts have divided the times of music up into five eras, like the dinosaur experts have done with the history of dinosaurs.

Prehistoric or Primitive Era (unrecorded). Because there is no historical record of this era, any research observed for the Primitive era is pure speculation.  Anything published on the matter is by a bunch of music philosophy majors who wasted their money and time on a college education just to take a wild guess as to how music might have all got started.  They believe that music of this time was merely naturally occurring sounds, such as birds, rain, trees in the wind, sticks and stones.  They claim the first musical instrument to be discovered is the human voice, able to makes endless sounds and imitate others.

Ancient Era (before 500 AD). The Ancient era is the era where music was developed in literate cultures, basically slapping the primitive era's music in the face.  The Mesopotamian, Indian, China, Persian, Greek and Roman cultures one day decided they were going to make their own sounds, constructing instruments.  It's not fair to give the Ancient era the sole credit for the creation of instruments; the primitive era probably made some horns and kazoos out of elephant tusks and vulture bones, but the Ancient era just knew how to market their shit better.  This era is characterized by simple audible tones and scales.  So now you can blame these guys for all those boring scales you learn at your first guitar lesson that you'll never use again.  Unless you're in Metallica.

Early Era (500- 1760). The medieval and Renaissance music is marked within the early music era.  According to Margaret Bent, this is the birth of written music, to what we understand today.  In "The Grammar of Early Music: Preconditions for Analysis," she has claimed, "Renaissance notation is under-prescriptive by our standards; when translated into modern form it acquires a prescriptive weight that overspecifies and distorts its original openness. Accidentals … may or may not have been notated, but what modern notation requires would then have been perfectly apparent without notation to a singer versed in counterpoint".

Common Practice Era (1600-1900). The history of music has landed in the earliest form of music common people can identify today in this era.  Composed of the Baroque, Classical and Romantic periods of music, the technical features of a composition included harmony and rhythm.  This is where famous composers such as Beethoven, Mozart and Bach had their time to shine.

Contemporary, or Modern Era (1900 to Present). In this era throughout the history of music timeline contains the music we know and "love" today.  This era has given birth to the 20th Century, the Contemporary and the 21st Century periods of music.  This is where musicians like Ozzy Osbourne and Robert Plant, and later Kurt Cobain and Dave Grohl, to reshape music for the better.  In the later of the most recent period music has evolved with the growth of technology, cursing the industry with electronic drums and synthesizers and vocoders and auto-tuning, taking the talent altogether out of music.

Throughout the history of music, music has evolved throughout these five eras, advancing with the intelligence and technology of humanity, bringing us to where music lies today, in the bowels of the music producers, waiting to be shat out and plastered to the face of the next young, talentless teeny bopper.  We're just afraid of what the next era of music will sound like.