How To Approach A Woman At A Bar

Once you learn how to approach a woman at a bar, you’ll no longer have to be nervous about the process. Don’t try to be what you’re not; women appreciate honesty so show your true personality. Most importantly do not be overly aggressive-it’s a huge turn-off.

  1. Speak to her first. The best opening line to approach a woman at a bar with is, “Hi.” Find something impersonal to talk about, like what she’s drinking, or ask her opinion about a restaurant in the area. At this point you just want to strike up a conversation.
  2. Ask questions. Most people love to talk about themselves. Ask about her hobbies, her job or school, etc., but don’t mention how attractive she is unless she seems insecure about her appearance. It will make you seem very interested in her as a person if you avoid focusing on her appearance, which is different from what most men do when they approach a woman at a bar.
  3. Maintain eye contact. Scanning the room while you’re supposed to be engaged in conversation is insulting. After you approach a woman at a bar, stay focused on what she’s saying and be prepared with follow-up questions. 
  4. Use the environment to your advantage. At a bar, there tends to be a lot of noise. Lean into her to ask questions and occasionally touch her on her arm, shoulder or back – never below the waist.
  5. Ask her to play a game. A woman at a bar is there to have fun and there’s usually a pool table or dart board around. Make a friendly wager like “ loser buys the winner a drink.” It will give you more time to get to know her and you’re also guaranteed to spend more time with her after the game.
  6. Stay relaxed. Don’t think about whether or not she likes you; be confident in your abilities. If you find yourself tensing up, look at her as only a potential friend. Nervousness is not attractive when you approach a woman at a bar.
  7. Make her laugh. Women are attracted to men that make them laugh and those men are usually very confident when they approach a woman. If you’re not good at making jokes though, now is not the time to try.
  8. Read her signals. If she looks bored or seems unwilling to talk to you, leave her alone. It’s probably not personal. Don’t be annoying just in case you run into her again. You don’t want to be remembered as “that guy.”
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