How to Bag a Ski Bunny

By: Heath Gordon

Break Studios Contributing Writer

There are a number of things you need to keep in mind when learning how to bag a ski bunny. When approaching a woman, it is never a sure thing, but there are a few tips to keep in mind when attacking it. One thing is to keep your hubris in check. Unless you are Bodi Miller, you are probably not better at skiing than her. You have to self deprecating. You have to make her feel sorry enough for you that she wants to hang out with you and then teach you the ways of skiing. Then, you warm her with your charm. Here are some steps to bag a ski bunny:

Have a back story. You aren't up here just to "hit the slopes." You have to come up with a reason to be up there by yourself. Here are a couple. You bought the tickets for you and your girlfriend, but she dumped you for someone else. Or, you came up here with your buddies and they all bailed on you because you suck at skiing.
Fall down and have the ski bunny help you pick you up. Once you have made your mark, wobble in front of her and then fall down. For the love of god, make it look convincing. Practice if you have to. Yes. Practice sucking at skiing.
Be confident. Women love it when a guy can fall down and pick himself up. Make it look like you are making a diligent and concerted effort to get better at skiing. Laugh at your own inability. Don't over do it.
Do not ask for lessons. The ski bunny will see through this and will not do it. However, ask for advice. If they offer to help you out for the day, by all means do it. Otherwise let her ski off into the hills. This isn't over.
Make your move once you have finished skiing. You will make your move after the skiing is done. If you are a beginner, she will most likely ski past you to get to where she is going. If this is the case, wave to her and she may come over to you. At this point you charmingly discuss your day on the slopes and then ask if she wants some hot cocoa or a drink in thanks for the advice she gave. If she gave you lessons, offer to buy her a drink out of thanks. Take it from there.
There is always the hail mary. If you do not feel like skiing but still want to pick up a ski bunny, there is a trick, but it is dastardly. Before you go to the chalet, get yourself a removable cast. Sit in front of the fire with your leg in the cast. Spin a tale of woe. You're already there.