How To Be A Couple And Still Be Free
So "you" has become "we" and you want to know how to be a couple and still be free like you once were, huh? Although you're a bit concerned about the fact that your new girlfriend seems to be attached to you at the waist, don't worry that you'll never fly free again. Adjust your thinking a little and learn these top five rules for how to be a couple while retaining some independence.
- You can't play every role, so don't try to. People usually form close relationships because they find fulfillment in each others' company, but that's not the only thing that keeps us together. Everyone has their needs and in the real world, interaction is all about getting those needs taken care of. If your new lovely lady friend wants you to become her man, her lover, her BFF and her valet/handyman, you might want to sit her down and explain to her that you're just one person, not a team. Establishing this early on in the relationship is a great way to avoid her becoming so utterly socially dependant on you that she never gives you a moment to yourself.
- Plan ahead. This may seem counter-intuitive, but planning your relationship activities out before you try to do them is a good way to lengthen your leash. When you're constantly surprising her with unexpected behavior, any air of mystery you establish can quickly turn into the putrid stench of dank, undying clinginess from the netherworld. By letting her know that you're willing to compromise with her need to keep track of what's going on, you make it easier for her to trust you to yourself.
- Communicate about your feelings. Don't let things that come between you make you feel all twisted up inside without taking time to participate in some stress-relieving together-time. The worst form of constriction is that which arises when you feel like you can't even talk about your true emotions and thoughts, so set a precedent that leads to an open, healthy relationship by communicating right from the beginning.
- Realize you're on a two-way street. The woman isn't always the one in the relationship who cuts down on their partner's freedom. If you have a hard time letting her go out with her friends because you're worried about all the other dudes in the club, chill the hell out, son! You're losing cool points like whoa and you need to take a step back and refer back to rule one before you ruin her life.
- If all else fails, lie. Lie until the lie becomes truth and never admit it. Once you start believing your own lies, you can carefully craft a world of deception and intrigue that, if nothing else, provides you with an easy exit when you need it. In all seriousness though, lying can only get you so far, no matter how good your storytelling abilities are, so if you need to rely on this option, realize you may be in the wrong kind of relationship. The ultimate secret to being free in a couple is being in the right couple with someone you can trust.