How To Be Like George Clooney

How to be like George Clooney—this is a question that every guy has asked himself, maybe even George Clooney himself. Little do the fools know that the secret lies in these simple steps. Here's how to be like George Clooney.

  1. Faux Humility. This is pretty much the cornerstone of any being like George Clooney life plan. Witty self-deprecation in the face of all evidence that you actually think you're the greatest human being to ever smile at a pretty girl is what we're talking about here.
  2. Smugness. This kind of fits in with number one. Being like George Clooney requires a subtle brand of smugness—we're not talking Donald Trump or Glenn Beck here, but the kind of smug that won't alienate human beings with actual brains.
  3. Be A Talented Actor. This might seem insignificant, but actually, one of the keys to being like George Clooney (and to George Clooney's popularity) is his talent and drive in the field of acting. Maybe take some theater courses at the local community college. But don't worry if you're not "bitten by the bug," so to speak. You know what they call actors who don't act? Liars. So just start lying to your friends and family. Not even about important stuff, necessarily, just like what you had for lunch. If you're lucky, they might assume you're a drug addict!
  4. Embrace The Grey. Being like George Clooney isn't all slick artifice and contrived affectations designed to trick people into thinking you aren't a self-loathing cluster of neuroses and sweat. If you're going grey up top, GO WITH IT. George Clooney pulls off the salt-and-pepper look with effortless aplomb, so why not give it a shot? Not old enough to go grey? Just wait. Going bald? Kill yourself.
  5. Grin Grinning is something that requires a lot of practice, and not just if you want to be like George Clooney. But one of the things the Cloonhound (that's what his friends call him) does better than almost anyone is grinning like a son of a bitch. Try it out.
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