How To Be A Ninja

So you want to know how to be a ninja? Well let us say, you will most likely never be a real ninja, or anything close to it. What you could be is a weird guy who dresses in all black and buys faux ninja stars. We certainly can help you out with that.

To be a ninja, you'll need:

• Black clothing
• A sword
• Ninja stars
• Sweet karate moves

1. Attire is Everything: To be a ninja, you need to look like a ninja. Nobody sees a guy doing karate with a sword and calls him a ninja. Only the guys who wear all black with a long black cloth tied around their heads are seen as ninjas. Go to your nearest department store and find the men's clothes section. Find the tightest pair of long black sweat pants you can. Then look for a long-sleeve turtleneck shirt. You've got your basics down, now to the nitty-gritty. Get a ski-mask, black shoes and socks, and a black cloth belt. Be sure to tuck your shirt in so it isnt flowing around.
2. Weapons: What would a ninja be without some weapons? Ninjas are mostly known for their "ninjakens", or ninja swords. They are also made famous by their ninja stars. You can find these at flea markets, and mostly online. Be sure to never buy a real ninja star. They are considered a deadly weapon and you can be arrested for possesing one. Ninja swords are available in some novelty shops, and of course the Internet. They can become very expensive, depending on craftsmanship.
3. Sweet Moves, Bro: To be a ninja, you'll need to master some karate moves, or at least make it look like you did. It all starts with confidence. If you act like you know exactly what you're doing, and it requires some form of physical ability, people will somewhat believe you've been trained as a ninja. Or that you watched "The Karate Kid" a few times. That Jaden Smith is a perfect example of what you should be, minus the whole "I get beat up because I'm American" thing.

So that's it! If you follow those steps, you will feel like a ninja, and your friends will feel honored to be friends with one. Maybe they will like you then. The world will never know!