How To Be In An Open Relationship

By: Mike Potts

Break Studios Contributing Writer

How to be in an open relationship might not be as difficult as you assume. The success of your open relationship will mostly depend on the beliefs and preferences of you and your partner. Law, religion and culture have created the concept of monogamous relationships, but whether or not you have one is really up to you and your partner. If you’re both willing to work at it, an open relationship can be as loving, intimate and satisfying as any other.

  1. Your partner comes first. For an open relationship to be successful, in most cases, your primary relationship needs to be your priority. Outside sexual partners should not be given more priority, time, attention or affection.
  2. Add veto power. Allow your partner to veto any outside sexual partner. The veto can be for any reason. This can make each partner feel more secure and help the open relationship grow.
  3. Spare your partner the details. You and your partner need to agree that for your open relationship to work, you shouldn’t discuss intimate details about your other sexual partners or encounters–unless of course you both enjoy it. For some people, this is too much to handle, and you might even decide not to discuss who your outside partners are.
  4. Protect yourself. Ask that your outside sexual partners be tested for sexually transmitted diseases and always wear a condom. During oral sex, flavored condoms can be used as protection. Your open relationship may be doomed to fail if you accidentally give your primary partner an STD.
  5. Be honest and open with all partners. For your open relationship to work, you need to make your desires, needs and intentions clear from the beginning with your primary partner and with each of your outside sexual partners. You also need to choose partners who share your beliefs and desires for the open relationship.

For you and your partner, an open relationship might be just the thing to help you stay together and live happily ever after, but you need to remember that your partner’s happiness comes first and that breaking the rules you’ve set together is not an option.  

Posted on: Nov. 06, 2010