How To Clean Up After Masturbation At Work

So you've done the deed and now you need to know how to clean up after masturbation at work. Although you should have read this article before getting down with your bad self at your place of employment, it's better late than never.

To clean up after masturbation at work, you will need:

  • patience
  • stealth
  • sanitizing and detergent wipes
  1. Be stealthy. If you've been getting off at work in a private bathroom, this is pretty straight forward. Try not to be loud. Have an excuse ready if you're questioned about why you were gone so long (tip: faking being sick always works.) Proceed to the next step. However, if you're having your private time in a public restroom, always flush the toilet before exiting the stall. If you walk out of the stall and don't flush, everyone is going to know what you've been doing. And don't get loud with the toilet paper roll either. If you're pulling sheet after sheet loudly, anybody within ear shot is going to wonder. Also, give yourself a little bit of time before exiting the stall, as your face is bound to be either beet red or drained of all color. Walking out of a stall like this will be a sure giveaway as to your self pleasuring ways and everyone will know you've been engaging in masturbation at work.
  2. Actual cleanup. Depending on how messy you were, this step might vary in difficulty. For dudes, I'm hoping you didn't get your man juice all over the stall. If you did, put that toilet paper to work. Don't forget hands, your package, and any other body parts, as well as clothing. Also, don't forget to look around. Realize that your baby makers could have flown into various strange places that you didn't notice in your moment of ecstasy. Once you've made sure your goo is off yourself, the stall, and anywhere else, get rid of any evidence in the toilet and flush it. For ladies, unless you're a super soaker, you shouldn't have to worry too much about cleaning up any flying liquids. Make sure you wipe off your hands and flush the evidence away. If you do end up squirting like a lawn sprinkler, quietly get that toilet paper busy and wipe up your girl goo. For both sexes, if you do get your love juice on your clothing, have some detergent wipes or similar cleaning materials available. Just don't go overboard. Having a small stain is much less noticeable than a bit wet spot where you tried to clean.

  3. Wash your hands. Sure, you should always wash your hands after doing anything in the bathroom (although you don't always follow this rule,) but now is definitely the time to get in the habit. Think about all the hands you shake throughout a typical day, along with all of the many doorknobs you touch, computer keyboards you use, etc. You don't want to be spreading your cooties all over the place and you certainly don't want to be getting genital germs from others. So wash and wash well. Dry your hands and maybe even use so hand sanitizer. If you've been stealthy, most people will just consider this good hygiene and you'll be above reproach.