Knowing how to cover up pooped pants can save you from extreme embarrassment. While poop may be a natural thing, it is typically not acceptable to walk around with it in your pants. Jokes for centuries have been based on the occurrences of this kind. Avoid being the butt of the next party by covering up the evidence.
To cover up pooped pants you will need:
- A place to hide
- Cleaning items such as soap
- A long shirt
- Do not react. The first step in covering up pooped pants is to simply not react to the incident. If the accident occurs in the presence of others, if you do not react, they will typically believe you, or hopefully someone else, simply farted. By casually excusing yourself without making a big deal out of the moment, you will not bring high attention to the sagging in your pants or the smell emitting from your shorts. Hold your expression as still as possible, and do not leave a conversation abruptly.
- Get rid of it. Covering up pooped pants involves getting rid of the substance as soon as possible. Get to a bathroom, back alley or other private area and dump the poop out your shorts as soon as possible. If you chose to go commando, or without underwear, you will need to completely take off the pants and shake out the droppings. If you have on shorts, take them off and ditch them where they will not be found by anyone you might possibly know. Do not try to flush them down as this might compound the issue by flooding out a bathroom.
- Wipe or wash off the outer evidence. When covering up pooped pants, wash off any external evidence. Wet pants can be passed off as having "set in something wet".
- Untuck the shirt. If you are lucky enough to have on a dress shirt, covering up pooped pants is as simple as untucking it. The excuse? I ate too much at lunch works.
- Put on cologne. The last piece of covering up pooped pants is to hide that smell. A bit of cologne will typically do the trick. If the poop smell is too strong, people might buy you new cologne or after shave at the next occasion, assuming you simply have bad taste in smell.