How to Date After Divorce
The papers have been signed, you’ve pawned the ring for beer money, looks like it’s time to start considering how to date after divorce (as well as opening an off-shore account to start hiding funds). Divorce is a harrowing event. The idea that your failed marriage can leave you feeling impotent and depressed. Your first attempts to date after divorce will be motivated by the need to rid yourself of those feelings. The desire to go out and “prove” yourself is going to be very strong and every thing that moves will suddenly be fair game. In some circles, this is called being a “man-whore”. Nothing that your friends and family (or an online article for that matter) say or do will likely convince you of another course of action, so go ahead, sow your wild oats. We’ll wait.
Ok, got that out of your system? Good. Let’s move forward.
If you are serious about dating after a divorce and not just chasing tail, there are a few steps that you can take to get back out and find the future Mrs. Ex.
- Stop and take some time for yourself. Read a book. Start working out. Learn an instrument or another hobby. By default, when we're in a relationship we're not focusing on ourselves. Expanding your horizons or physical prowess or mind power is essential for cultivating confidence. Confidence is essential for dating after divorce. It's an inexpensive and highly effective aphrodisiac. Further, ridding your mind of the fog that can possess you while dating after divorce is essential for clear thinking. You'll need clear thinking for the next step.
- Asses what went wrong in your marriage. Regardless of what kind of evil succubus you think your ex-wife was, you need to own your 50 percent of the failure of your marriage. The failure in every marriage that ends can be shared equally by both parties, even if it's something as basic as being naive enough to marry someone that was absolutely no good for you. The onus is on you to have recognized that she was a succubus before you married her. If you are having problems identifying where you went wrong, ask your buddies. The chances are high that they saw the issues way before you had any idea that trouble was brewing and now that she's gone, they'll probably be happy to share their opinions with you.
- Fix what went wrong. It seems like this should go without saying, but if you identify the issues that lead to your divorce and do nothing to fix them, then they will most likely resurface when you date after divorce. If you drank too much or were a fat slob, do something to fix it. If you were too passive or too aggressive, now is the time to try a different tactic. If you chose the wrong girl or the wrong kind of girl, don't chose that kind of girl when you start to date after divorce.
- Take notes. Think of your new-found freedom as an opportunity for exploration. When you date after divorce, every woman is an opportunity to discover what you like and don't like in a relationship. When you're married, you have a tendency to gloss over irritating things to "get along" and under-appreciate the things you enjoy about the relationship. So pay attention and get a better understanding of what you're really looking for in a woman. Which lead us to the last point...
- Take your time. Too often, men jump into a relationship immediately after divorce and over-commit. The chances of finding Mrs. Right right away lie somewhere between "slim" and "none". Don't think that the next girl is the "one". In fact, don't think the next three girls are the "one". Take your time and enjoy the ride, don't be in such a hurry to divide all your stuff in half again. At least not until you've gotten that off-shore account set up.