How To Deal With Mother In Laws

Learn about how to deal with mother in laws. When you marry the man/woman of your dreams, you may also wish you could have the mother in law of your dreams, but it usually doesn’t work out that way. Mother in laws can be overbearing and intrusive, sometimes causing problems in your relationship. You need to let your mother in law know she has overstepped her boundaries, but in a respectful non-confrontational way, to prevent further conflict between you and your mother in law.

  1. Be honest with your mother in law. Do not attempt to treat her like a second mother if you truly don’t feel that way about her and she doesn’t look at you that way. This is someone who is going to be in your life for a long time, so it doesn’t make sense to act phony around her just to get brownie points. Your mother in law will sense that and may think you don’t care much for her, and she may not treat you respectfully.

  2. Treat your mother in law with respect. Regardless of how you feel about your mother in law, perhaps you can’t stand her guts, she is still your spouse’s mother, so never say anything derogatory to your mother in law or to your spouse putting her in a difficult situation.

  3. Avoid putting your spouse in the middle. Try talking with your mother in law one on one, without your spouse knowing. Your mother in law may have more respect for you. She won't think you are trying to put her son against her, by trying to have him pick sides. You may get this resolved if the spouse is not involved.

  4. You’ve heard the expression “kill her with kindness”? If you feel your mother in law has some type of interior motive by the way she behaves, not just dislike for you, but trying to go so far as to breakup your marriage, that’s not something you should take lightly. Instead of just playing her game, beat her at her own game. Be kind, generous and thoughtful to your mother in law regardless of how she tries to demean you. Let your wife see you are truly trying to build a good relationship with her mother. If worse comes to worse and your wife has to choose, at least she will know you did make the effort in trying to win your mother in law over.

  5. If all else fails to work, distance yourself from your mother in law. We're sure it’s important for you to build a rapport with your mother in law, but if she doesn’t try to meet you halfway, then leave it along and maybe try again later. Give her a chance to realize what a great person she is missing out on getting to know. You have won the grand prize. You no longer have to try and impress your mother in law.

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