How To Develop Self Confidence

By: Dee Jones

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Do you want to know how to develop self-confidence? The truth is that most of us do. Even those who already seem to have plenty of confidence probably has something they feel insecure about. The good news is it's possible to develop self-confidence. It’s easier than you think and faster than you’re imagining it will be. All it really takes is more awareness of some of your habits and making a few adjustments to those habits to give your self-confidence a boost.

  1. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Accepting that you aren’t perfect might seem like a counterproductive way to try to develop self-confidence, but you aren’t perfect. No one is. Trying and failing to live up to some set of impossible standards will play havoc with your self-esteem. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Every day, millions of imperfect people get promotions and date amazing women. So can you.
  2. Stop caring so much. Have you noticed how the people that seem to be the most successful, popular and self-assured are also the ones who don’t seem to care what others think of them? They don’t care what anyone thinks of their clothes, appearance or what they have to say. Ironically, the fact that they don’t care what other people think is what makes them appealing to those very people. If you want to develop self-confidence, try not to care so much. In other words, try to think of something besides yourself. For example, when you walk into a party, don’t worry about what other people are thinking about how you look or whether you will be able to talk to anyone else without making a fool of yourself. Instead, focus on external things. How do you like the music? What do you think of the crowd? Do you think you will meet anyone you will be interested in knowing?
  3. Realize that people have their own stuff to deal with. One reason some of us need to develop more self-confidence is because we are convinced the whole world is watching us. That embarrassing thing you did at the bar last night? Everyone at the bar will remember that forever, right? Not really. People have their own issues and focusing on anything you might have said or done probably isn’t one of them. Don’t worry so much about doing or saying the wrong thing in front of people. Even if you do, they aren’t going to remember it for long, especially if you decide not to let it bother you.
Posted on: Sep. 15, 2010