How Do I Get A Girlfriend If My Parents Suck?

You're a cool guy who is alone for one simple reason-you don't know how to get a girlfriend when your parents suck. Don't despair. It's not impossible and, with a little work on your part, lonely Saturday nights could be a thing of the past.

1. Assess the suckage realistically. Before you jump into things with both feet, be realistic about the amount of suckage you're talking about here. A girlfriend probably isn't going to want to deal with, say, habitual drunkenness, but if it's something like one of those "my house, my rules" things it's likely more do-able than you think. Be honest in your assessment. You don't want to complicate things by seeing your parents as worse than they are.
2. Impress her. You're not going to introduce a woman you're dating to your parents right away. Use the time before that happens to let her get to know you. Once she likes you for the great guy you are, your parents won't have as big an effect on what she thinks of you.
3. Minimize contact. There's no rule that says your girlfriend has to interact with your parents anywhere near as much as you do. The less she sees of them the less likely she is to be bothered by them. Sure, at some point you're going to have to introduce them all to each other but they don't have to spend a lot of time together. This is one situation when doing the minimum needed to get by is okay.
4. Enlist your parents' help. Yes, your parents suck but they're still your parents and, unless the situation is really whack, they want the best for you. Without actually telling them they suck, ask if they could be aware of their behavior around the girls you date. Be specific about what you want them to do and ask nicely.
5. Don't make it a big deal. No matter how much your parents suck, don't complain about it very much. That just calls attention to the problem. If you do your best to relax and have fun, regardless of the situation, your dates will, too.
6. Reduce your own suckage quotient. Just like beautiful parents don't always produce attractive kids, having sucky parents doesn't mean you have to suck, too. Your parents might be a major problem for you but they're only a small part of the equation for the woman in your life. Concentrate on being a good boyfriend. How the two of you get along together is what matters in the long run.