How Do I Tell Someone I Have The Herpes Simplex Virus?
After getting a diagnosis of herpes, you may wonder "how do I tell someone I have the herpes simplex virus?" Telling someone you have herpes simplex virus, commonly known as genital herpes, can be tricky, especially if you hope to have a sexual relationship with her. But not telling someone you have herpes simplex is much, much worse, as it sets the stage for a dishonest relationship.
- Wait to tell them you have herpes. Just don't wait too long. First dates are awkward, even second dates can be awkward. Don't make the situation more awkward by bringing up your history of sexually transmitted diseases. Don't sleep with her until you tell her, though. Tell her in a private place. Invite her over to your house or go to hers. Herpes isn't really a discussion for the local bar or coffee shop. Stay calm as you tell her about your condition.
- Explain any feelings you have for her, and explain that you feel it's important that she know you have herpes simplex virus so that she can make the right decision for herself before you sleep together. Don't try to lay the blame for the virus on someone else or say who you got it from. Don't become overly nervous or excited, you do not want to make this a big deal.
- Be ready to explain what herpes simplex virus is. There are actually two types. The first type causes cold sores and is very common. The second type causes genital herpes. You may want to bring information or brochures on the virus, treatments for it and how to protect yourself against it, along with you.
- Give her space after you've told her you have the herpes simplex virus. Let her sit with the information for a few days and decide whether she wishes to continue to date you or associate with you. When you do see her again, assure her that you will always use protection if you decide to sleep together.