How to Do a Keg Stand
Since you are reading this, it’s a good assumption you have no idea how to do a keg stand. You’ve found yourself at a “kegger” and the crazy guy yells out, “Time to do a keg stand!” But that’s okay. Being prepared for this classic party ritual can help define your social status for the evening. Eventually that crazy guy will point at you and it will be time to prove that you know how to party, so read thoroughly my party apprentice.
- Confidence. Walk up confidently to the keg since you will be around a bunch of more experienced observers who all know how to do a keg stand. Look enthused; maybe let out some kind of primitive yell to pump the crowd up. They did come to watch you do a keg stand, so you might as well give them a show. Even if your keg stand attempt doesn’t last long, they’ll at least like you for your showmanship.
Grip keg. Grab the handles around the rim of the keg. In order to do a keg stand properly, you need to have a good grip on the keg and the handles will provide just that.
- Find your spotter. The guy standing behind you is your spotter. He will grab your legs and hold them over your head, usually between a 45 and a 60 degree angle. In some cases there might be two spotters. Tighten up your abdominal muscles so you aren’t like a limp noodle when your legs are picked up. As you are dangling, one individual will hold the nozzle in your mouth.
- DRINK. When you give the ready signal the liquid will start to flow. This may catch you off guard depending on how much pressure the keg has. It can be helpful to let some beer build up in your mouth before swallowing. Find a good rhythm that works and keep it consistent. Also, from time to time it may be helpful to breathe. Once liquid drains out of your mouth uncontrollably, you’re done.
Additional Information: Here’s where having some party experience comes into play. At some parties, time is counted out in seconds to see how long you can go. This is somewhat challenging, but the more hardcore party people will do push-ups while they do a keg stand. As they down their beer, the number of push-ups is counted out until the beer spews out of your mouth upon reaching critical mass.
Make sure to pay attention to the people before you to see which version is used. Sometimes you might be the first one up. If you are feeling up to the task, set the bar and use the push-up version. If your fellow partygoers did not know you could do a keg stand while doing push-ups, you will look like the veteran of the crowd. Everyone will think you have known how to do a keg stand for years.
The keg will have already been pumped the right amount of times if you are with party veterans. Just make sure some inexperienced goofball doesn’t pump the keg too much in a frenzy of excitement. It could be a bad experience for your first time.
Take caution!! Do not let go of the keg when you’ve decided to cash out! A flattened face is not a good way to end your moment in the spotlight. Let go when your feet are on the ground. Good luck and don’t make too many bad decisions.