You know they do it, but how do men hide low self esteem? It’s no secret that men hide low self esteem from their friends, family, and just about everyone else they come in contact with. Part of the motivation to prevent any feelings of self-doubt from being apparent to others stems from what society considers proper behavior in order to be considered masculine or manly. For this reason, men will go to great lengths to hide low self esteem, sometimes even from themselves.
One of the most common strategies that men use to hide low self esteem is to determine that the condition is a permanent one, and that nothing can be done to change it. This approach changes the focus from being on identifying the reasons for the lack of self confidence to taking steps to compartmentalize the doubt and sometimes self-loathing that compose low self esteem. The idea is that by containing the issue, and effectively denying that a problem exists, there is no chance for others to become aware of the issue.
Another way that men hide low self esteem is to overcompensate by plunging directly into situations where they feel the least confident. For example, a man may have very little confidence in his ability to stand in front of a crowd and deliver a speech. In order to mask the fear, he may intentionally put himself in situations where he must speak in public, even if the event causes a great deal of anxiety. The danger here is that if the man does not have the background and expertise to successfully speak to a crowd, this headlong approach can lower his self esteem even further.
The most destructive way in which men hide low self esteem is to blame others for his lack of self confidence. This can include blaming coworkers for his failure to earn a promotion, his spouse or partner for not being supportive of his efforts, and his friends for failing to recognize what he could do, if given the chance. While in this type of mind set, a man is likely to alienate those who care about him the most, a move that only serves to lower his self esteem even further.
When men hide low self esteem, they often think they are doing themselves and others a service. In reality, the opposite is true. By not recognizing that an esteem issue exists, it is impossible to identify the true causes for the low self esteem, and take positive steps to deal with the problem. It is only by facing up to the issue, confiding in those who are most likely to be understanding and supportive, then working with a mental healthcare professional to overcome the low self esteem, that a man can be free of this type of confidence issue and truly enjoy life to the fullest.