How To Explain Twitter

Not sure how to explain Twitter to your friends and family? If you were asked how to  explain Twitter to someone what would be the simplest explanation? Here's a few ideas you can use if you happen to run into the last person on earth who has never heard of Twitter.

1. Twitter is a gathering place online to let people know what you are eating for dinner. 
2. It's your number one source for wasting time. 
3. Twitter is your entertainment between flights.
4. Apparently it's a live feed to Brittany Spears' bedroom.
5. It's where the cool kids hang, not like those Facebook nerds!
6. Twitter is where you'll find a lot of LOL, LMAO, ROFL's and also a few WTF. FML and FFS's. If you're really lucky you may get a RT every now and then. 
7. It's hands down the best way to break up with your girlfriend. 
8. Twitter is a place where the more time you spend on it the better your chances of having an alibi if you ever need one. 
9. It's a place to find and purchase all the teeth whitening products ever created in the world.
10. It's where your boss spies on you. 
11. It's the best place to forget everything you ever learned about grammar and spelling. 
12. Twitter is like Cheers where everybody knows your fake name.
13. It's John Mayer's online journal he shares with  over 1 million of his personal friends. 
14. Twitter is where chirping birds gather.
15. Twitter is the new drunk dial.
16. It's America's number one news source in the form of "Twitter Trending Topic".
17. Twitter is where celebrities feed their stalkers. 
18. Twitter is yet another place where Paris Hilton can bore you to tears. 
19. It's that secret place where cats gather and worship their leader Sockington. 
20. Twitter is where you can share pictures of your kids, pets, and screen-shots of your best Tap Tap Revenge score. 
21. It's where Dane Cook still isn't funny.