How To Fake Orgasms

Figuring out how to fake orgasms is not only an easy endeavor, it's also pretty darn hilarious. Why in the world would a man need to fake an orgasm? Really, is she just that bad in bed that you need to fake an orgasm just to get out of there? Maybe your mind is on work and you want to fake an orgasm because you're just not in the mood for sex. Yeah right! What man isn't in the mood for sex? Ever? Well regardless of the reason, faking an orgasm is just a matter of exercising your acting chops. It's incredibly simple. You know why? Simple. Not too many women have ever experienced a man faking an orgasm. Here's how to do it.

1. Your "O" face. If you want to fake an orgasm, the first thing you need to know is how you look when you have an orgasm. Ask your girl, on a whim, how you look when you come. Have her describe it to you. Once you get enough info from her, it's just a matter of reproducing that face. Practice in the mirror. You may even want to practice your tension release sounds.
2. Tense your muscles. Guys involuntarily tighten their muscles when they get close to coming. If you want to sell that fake orgasm of yours, remember to tighten your muscles when you're ready to pull of the mock release. Don't go overboard. Tighten them just enough to get the message across.
3. Immediate rest. You have to act like you've just released when you fake an orgasm. Think about it. What do guys do right after they come? they slump over in a very drained motion. Don't fake your orgasm then jump right up. She'll no it's fake. No, you have to sell the entire show. Act as if you're tired because you just exploded the biggest sexual release you've ever had.
4. Get up and get rid of the evidence. A fake orgasm, is well, fake. Therefore you won't actually have any of the gooey by-product of a real orgasm floating around in your condom. It's imperative that you don't let her see the condom. If you do, the whole farce is blown. You have to get up and remove the condom just as if it actually has your baby juice inside. Immediately rush it to the toilet and flush it. Don't risk it by dropping the condom in the trash. You don't want her to look at the sperm-less condom.