How To Fall In Love
At some point in life, every single human being on the planet wonders how to fall in love. Thanks to romantic comedies, many people might think that falling in love can be distilled into effortless, formulaic steps. The actual process involves much more than just simple attraction between you and your object of affection.
- Establish your own identity first. Before you can even think about how to fall in love, you need to know who you are as an individual. If you don't, every relationship will become an attempt to complete yourself.
- Look around you. Research shows that proximity and familiarity are two of the key components that help determine with whom you fall in love. The more opportunities you have to interact with a particular person, and the better you get to know her, the greater the chances of you developing romantic feelings. So if you're in search of someone to fall in love with, look around you. Maybe there's someone you already know just waiting for you to take a second look.
- Talk. When you find that person you have feelings for, spend time talking to her. Developing good communication is a vital part of falling in love. The quality of your conversations -- not just what you talk about, but also the way you talk to each other -- is an excellent indicator of your connection.
- Let yourself to be intimate - and not just physically. Part of falling in love is letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with another person. When you feel safe enough to be yourself and share your insecurities, it's a good indication that your relationship is strengthening.
- Make your significant other a priority. Both men and women want to be someone's number one priority. The more you make your significant other feel special and valued, the more loving she will feel toward you, and vice versa. Set aside time to spend together, and show a genuine interest in her as an individual. To fall in love requires treating the other person with respect and sensitivity.
- Take care of each other. Reciprocity is another key component to falling in love. This means that you and your partner should develop a mutual give and take. Sometimes you should put her needs first, and she should do the same for you. This is a sign of a maturing relationship.
- Give it time. Falling in love requires depth and intimacy that can only come with time. There are no shortcuts for really getting to know someone and to fall in love.
Baumeister, Roy, Miracle, Andrew, & Miracle, Tina. Human Sexuality: Meeting Your Basic Needs. Prentice Hall, 2002.
Harvey, Donald. LoveDecisions. W. Publishing Group, 2003.
Parrott, Les & Parrott, Leslie. Love Talk. Zondervan, 2004.