How To Find A Chinese Girlfriend

By: Helena Handbasket

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Since the coining of the phrase “Me so horny” every dude with a functional penis has wondered how to find a Chinese girlfriend. Who could blame them? Asian women are among the sexiest creatures on the planet and a popularly coveted breed. It’s not easy to find a Chinese girlfriend because they are so petite they can hide in tiny places. But all kidding aside, okay no kidding aside, here are a few places where you may find a Chinese girlfriend.

Chinese Restaurants–Hungry? Head over to your favorite Chinese restaurant and check out potiental Chinese girlfriends behind the counter. Egg foo yummy? Tell her your fortune cookie said you'd meet a beautiful woman at a restaurant tonight.
Chinatown–Head to Chinatown and hit every restaurant, bar, boutique and night club you see. You’re bound to meet Wongs, Chows and Lees. With Chinatown being such an exclusive Asian district, Chinese women are bound to be everywhere. The odds are in your favor of finding a Chinese girlfriend if you hang around Chinatown long enough.
Mail Order–If you can’t score a Chinese chick in Chinatown then you’ve got some serious problems. It may be an urban legend, but we’ve all heard about mail order brides. Try ordering a Chinese girlfriend online. Just be sure that the shipping company makes the air holes small enough so she doesn't slip out and escape, they're tiny ya' know. (We kid!)
Go To China–This is a no brainer! Now what loser wouldn't be able to find a Chinese girlfriend in China? On the other hand, if you must go all the way to China to meet Asian chicks, your problems may lay elsewhere. Seek out a Chinese therapist while you're there, Grasshopper.
Purchase Her At An Adult Toy Store–Look for the union label! The union of Hong Kong that is. If all else fails, and you still have not been able to find a Chinese girlfriend, head to your local adult bookstore and you will be delighted to find a variety of attractive and available inflatable ladies proudly displaying “made in China” stickers and waiting to go home with you.