If you faced a betrayal, but want to continue the relationship, you will need to learn strategies on how to forgive an affair. Strategies are important when you faced infidelity in a relationship since it is difficult to forgive and conjures up so many emotions.
- Express how you feel about the situation. Holding on to your emotions about the infidelity will only make the situation worse and result in physical and mental stress. After you have taken the time to express your emotions, start thinking rationally about the situation.
- Ask yourself why should you stay with the person who betrayed your trust. Do you love her or do you want to stay in the relationship for other reasons, such as minor children. Staying in a bad relationship might seem like a good idea initially, but may not be the best situation long-term. Give this careful thought and consider whether the cheater has shown remorse and is truly sorry. Is this a repeated affair or is this the first affair?
- Let your partner know how you feel about the situation. Do this without resorting to violence or throwing your partner out of the home. It is tempting, but let your partner know you are upset with what transpired without taking any life changing action immediately.
- Avoid the need to visualize what happen between your partner and the other individual. Visualizing your partner cheating will only make things worse and won't help you reach the point to where you will forgive the affair.
- Do not compare yourself to the other person. If you do not know the other person on a personal level, you do not need obtain personal information as this will only hamper forgiveness of the affair.
- Request that your partner break all ties with the other individual if possible immediately. Your partner having a continual relationship with her lover will only strain your relationship and will not heal the problem.
- Focus on what led to the affair and determine how to make corrections together as a couple to improve your relationship. Ask questions so you can find out the reasons for the affair. Communicating about the problem will handle the ordeal of the affair better than not communicating. Be receptive to your partner answers and discuss possible solutions to prevent this problem in the future. Be aware that you might still experience anger; this is normal. However, your partner may not be receptive to your anger and might become angry as well. Thus, if the meeting turns into a shouting match and everyone is yelling and doing the blame game, stop the conversation and take it up at a later date.
- Avoid the temptation to monitor your partner's every move. This is not healthy action that will help forgive an affair and may destroy you physically as well as emotionally.
- Since you have decided the best option for your relationship is forgiving the affair, concentrate on making new memorable moments together instead of lamenting on old memories.
- Do things together that you may not have done before or things that you did in the past but stopped doing over time.
- Forgiving your partner for an affair does not mean that you have forgotten the affair. It just means that you have come to terms with what happened and want to move on with the relationship.
- If you do all you can to forgive the affair with minimal success, seek marital counseling to help you rebuild the relationship.