Want to know how to free yourself from a grudge holder that is still holding onto you? Sometimes we make mistakes and people not only refuse to let go of the grudges but also insist on still being in our lives. What is hard to figure out is how to get rid of said grudge holder for certain or without making the situation worse.
- To free yourself from a grudge holder, you must first admit your mistakes. It is important to be sure that you have given your grudge holder a reason to let go of the grudge. You cannot expect people to forgive their grudge if you have never admitted wrong doing or asked for forgiveness. No matter what actions led you to mistake that they are holding against you, you still made the decision to do something that caused them pain.
- Allow the grudge holder a recovery time period. If you want to keep the said grudge holder in your life, but want to rid yourself of the grudge holding them, you should allow them space while they deal with any issues that they may have with you.
- Take a moment to reflect on your mistake that created the grudge. Is this grudge realistic? Is this grudge something that you deserve or is it the antics of a dramatic person? If you believe you really did something wrong, take a last attempt at getting rid of the grudge without ridding your life of the grudge holder. Say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness without creating your own grudge against them.
- If the grudge holder is refusing to give up the grudge then it is time to free yourself of the grudge holder once and for all. We all make mistakes, but it does not mean that someone else has the right to beat us up over them for the rest of our lives. If you have learned from your mistake then you deserve a life free of the grudge over a past mistake. Once you have made the decision to free yourself of the grudge holder, follow these steps and do them in a mature, respectful manner.
- Speak your peace to the grudge holder and tell them why you feel you deserve to be free from their grudge. Do not be offensive and do not play the blame game. Just be mature and respectful. Explain to them why you feel you need to be free from their grudge.
- Tell the grudge holder to respect your decision and distance. Depending upon your relationship with said grudge holder, you may be forced to still see them on a regular basis. Maybe they are a neighbor or a coworker, or you may have mutual friends. Whatever the case, you want to be sure you both understand that you don’t want the drama to go on and that you are simply "agreeing to disagree" and keep your distance.
- Stick to your word and truly free yourself from the grudge and leave it in the past. Don’t talk about the disagreement or the grudge with mutual friends or even just your friends. Leave it in the past; you cannot become a grudge holder yourself as well!