How To Get Drunk Without Drinking

There are many ways to mess yourself up, including figuring out how to get drunk without drinking. These methods are extremely volatile and incredibly dangerous. The idea is vaporized alcohol inhaled through your lungs works faster than letting the booze work its way through your guts. But to be honest, you should probably drink the booze rather than experimenting the methods explained below. Especially the last one, which is sweeping across the teenage suburban wastelands as we speak. Oh and there is a good chance that some, if not all of these methods, are completely illegal in your state. But hell, if you are not worried about brain damage, the law and possess the adequate funds required, please read on.

To get drunk without drinking you will need:

  • Passport
  • Money
  • Booze
  • AWOL party machine
  • Asthma nebulizer
  1. Limes. The easiest way to get drunk without drinking is to fly to merry old England and hit up a pub with the vapor option. You will have to hurry though because, much like the rest of the civilized world, they are working on banning the plastic pub devices that look like futuristic bongs or sex toys. The idea never really got that popular because as we all know, people actually like drinking the booze.
  2. Mail order. Depending upon where you live, you may or may not be able to get drunk without drinking by visiting the sleazy UK site called AWOL Spirit. It sells a fairly expensive contraption you can use to vaporize alcohol and get drunk without drinking. Oh and there is a picture of a bald guy with not one, but two babes hanging on him, so you know this contraption is cool. Maybe not Fonzi cool, but almost-Chachi cool.
  3. Clever kids. Most high school kids do not have the credit or balls to make the bald guy from AWOL mail them a party machine to their parent's address. But being clever, they used what God and medical insurance already provided. An asthma nebulizer is the same thing as a party machine but at less of a price. If you can load up your nebulizer for meds, you already know how easy this is.


  • These are bad ideas.
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