How To Get Even

Need to get even with an ex-wife or ex-boyfriend? Breakups are ugly and no one likes to get dumped. Is this someone you once trusted and has ripped your heart out? Revenge is the key word here, ladies and gentlemen. Need to get even? Here’s how:

  1. Get back in shape to get even and make your ex jealous. You may have let yourself go while your were dating or married to this person but, now that you are single again, it’s time to hit the gym and show her what she’s missing out on.
  2. Get back into the dating scene. But, in order to get even, replace her with someone who is way hotter than she is. Your ex will be insanely jealous, but make sure to let her know that she doesn’t have a chance with you.
  3. Make more money. Get even with her by having more money now than you ever did. Work your tail off if you must then use that extra cash to buy yourself something really expensive and nice.
  4. Every night, pour some oil under her car while parked in the driveway. She will end up spending tons of money repairing the car and, if she buys a new one, keep pouring oil under it. She will be utterly confused.
  5. Buy a dog whistle. To get even, go near her house in the middle of the night and blow the whistle so all the neighbor’s dogs start barking. Once they have quieted down, blow the whistle again.
  6. Seduce her sister or best friend to get even with her. This is really sneaky, but she will feel completely uncomfortable watching her sister kiss her ex-lover.
  7. Cause her current boyfriend to break up with her. To do so, flirt uncontrollably until you are able to seduce her. Make sure her boyfriend is around to walk in on the two of you and catch her cheating.
  8. Post all her dirty secrets on the Internet. Use a social networking website to get even; post dirty pictures of her and embarrassing secrets only you know for all her friends to see.

The opportunities to get even are endless. Send her an anonymous box of joke chocolates that will make her sick or peanut M&Ms if you know that she is allergic to peanuts. Call her and leave a prank message. No one likes to get dumped and, if your heart has been torn to pieces, it’s time for revenge.