How to Get Over Her

You wake up hungover again and wonder, again, just how to get over her. She ditched you. You’re hurt. We get it. But we're tired of your brooding. It's time to learn to get over her. 

1. Stay Busy Have more mornings like this: Sleep in . Make mac and cheese for breakfast. Wash it down with tequila shots. Take a long shower. Forget you’re still showering. Stop thinking about her. Forget to rinse out the shampoo. Get back in the shower. Towel off. Walk around naked for an hour. Get dressed. Put on mismatched socks. Stop thinking about her.
   
2. Call your best friend. Whine and get drunk with your best friend. He tells you to stop whining. You tell him to buy you a drink. Then you go to a bar and whine some more. He tells you to stop whining. Whine until you're exhausted and you won't feel like whining anymore. Eventually you'll get so sick of hearing yourself talk about her, that you'll get sick of thinking of her all together.
3. Celeb rebound obsession Turn on "Mythbusters". Fall in love with Kari Byron. Tell yourself Kari wouldn’t have broken your heart. Crack open a beer. Wash it down with tequila shots. Stop thinking about her. Think about Kari instead.
4. Erase her. Take down all the photos. Throw out all the boxers she gave you. Flush her toothbrush. Fish it out when it doesn’t flush. Address an envelope to her and put her extra keys in it. Put on pants. Walk to the mail box and mail the last memory of her away.
5. Ex Girl to Next Girl(s). Time to stop crying. Sure, you may not be over her completely, but it's a good idea to find another girl to take your mind off of your ex. Go out to clubs and bars. Pick up on girls. Take them home. Eventually you'll be too busy having fun to think about how to get over her.