Want to know how to get revenge on an ex girlfriend? Getting revenge on an ex-girlfriend has crossed the mind of every man has ever had his heart ripped out and carelessly stomped on by a woman. There's an old Klingon Proverb (quoted at the beginning of Quentin Tarantino's "Kill Bill") which states: "Revenge is a dish best served cold." Suffice to say, Klingons clearly believe in getting revenge on ex-girlfriends, though ironically few members of the Star Trek audience have ever actually had girlfriends. That said, when there is an ex-girlfriend who has slept with a couple of your friends or slashed the tires on your car or has been on social networking sites constantly talking about how you have an STD, revenge is sometimes the only option. If you decide to take this road, there are a few general things to keep in mind:
- Make sure it's legal. Don't do anything creepy, violent, frightening or dangerous to her. For example, don't call her constantly pretending to be someone else and scaring her. That's called harassment and can get you arrested, fined and slapped with a restraining order. Instead, get one of your hot girlfriends to get wasted, act like she's easy and hand your ex-girlfriend's cell phone number out to ten to twenty guys in a handful of local bars.
- Revenge is a two way street. There's another saying which predates even the Klingon civilization: "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn." This is true (that's why there's a saying about it, obviously). So be forewarned that whatever revenge you throw her way, she may decide to throw the same spitefulness back at you.
- Release the sex tape. If she was dumb enough to shoot a sex tape with you and dumb enough not to get all of the copies when you broke up, then she almost deserves to have a sex tape released to your friends. Don't distribute it, because that would be illegal. But screening it for a room full of dudes who know her or sending an anonymous copy to, say, her dad, is pretty cold. Then again, you may make yourself vulnerable for legal repercussions by doing this.
- Cut her out of your life. Erase her from your phone, all social networking sites, and instant messenger. Burn all the pictures you have of her and the things you have which remind you of her. This should take about 30 minutes of actual effort, total. Then try to never think about her again or respond to anything she ever sends you. Meet another girl and live a better life. Moving on before she does may be the best revenge there is.
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