Knowing how to get rid of control issues in a relationship requires hard work, patience and a desire to change. Seeking power in a relationship is very unhealthy because both partners is supposed to show equality. Learn how to keep your controlling behavior in check before your partner checks out the door.
- Understand the problem. The first step to get rid of control issues is to find out what trigger the problem. Is it a result of a bad relationship or an unsatisfactory childhood? Remember, as humans we molded by environment and experiences in life and if there a reason behind your control issues, it must be brought to light so you can figure how to diminish it. Admitting you have a problem means you will not be in denial and willing to talk it out either with your partner or a professional counselor. The moment you handle your control issues and heal from it, you can keep it under a minimum without losing yourself either.
- Learn how to trust. People with control issues find it difficult to let go and trust others. What they do not realize when you demand power over another, whether it is consciously or unconsciously, is that other people get in the middle of your problem and become hurt. Neither the distrustful partner or the one on the receiving end who walks on eggshells to please you benefits from control. That defines an unhealthy relationship as the control comes from fear. Whether that fear based on your partner leaving the relationship or cheating, just remember, that fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Realize life is not perfect. Humans are not perfect, including the world we live in. There are some things beyond our control no matter how much we try to be resistant, especially in a relationship. Accept that you and your partner have faults and it is OK to have them as long you each make improvements. Once you get the idea there is no such thing as a perfect person or relationship, you become more relaxed and take things as they come rather than keeping it under strict control.
- Take it one day at a time. Getting rid of control issues does not happen overnight and can possibly be a long journey. Try to make a change slowly each day and mark in a journal how much progress you had made. Start for a month and once you make a habit to become less controlling, it will become easier for you. It helps to read books on dealing with controlling behavior. Helping yourself shows you want change and willing to become a happier person.
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