Finding the best way for how to get your ex to forgive you after cheating is something that will take many steps, and lots of time. The instant desire to have things back to the way they were before is normal, but it is just not logical. Here are the best that you can take to try to get back to the love you had before your infidelity.
- First you must accept your reality. Cheating is a very selfish act; therefore if you are trying to make things work with your ex after you realized your mistake it is now their time to be selfish. Your ex will make you face the consequences for your actions; you will have to deal with your guilt, their anger and your punishment for being so selfish.
- Prove that you learned a lesson. The biggest fear your ex will have after catching you cheating is that you will do it to her again. No one enjoys looking like a fool, so if you want your ex to forgive you then you will have to prove to her that the cheating life has nothing to offer you. That you learned that she has everything that you want, while cheating has nothing that you desire.
Prove that you love her and know how to love her. Depending upon how upset your ex is it may take awhile before you are able to prove to her how much you do love her. At first, your ex will probably be very weary to believe anything that you say. Over time you will see that there are perfect opportunities to show your ex that you love her, and that you know now how to love her in the way that she deserves to be loved. Again, cheating is selfish so you will have to prove to her that you know how to be in a relationship and give up the selfish behavior.
Show your ex what she has that makes you want to be with her. It will be impossible to show your ex that you love them if you don't know why you want to be with them, so this should be rather simple for you. What is it that she has that makes you want to work on forgiveness for your cheating so much? What is it that she makes you feel that makes you realize she is the only person who should be getting your love? Is she a great spouse, does she always listen to your problems and know just how to fix them? Does she take care of you, do your laundry, or clean your house? Does she always find a way to make your bad days seem a little bit better?
- Show your ex what you have to offer her! Although you have cheated, we are sure that there is a reason your ex was with you in the first place! Remind her of what you had before your mistake, and what you can give you after her heartache subsides. If she is hurt it is very likely that she had deep feelings and love for you. Remind your ex what made her your partner in the first place.
- Be willing to hear out all of your ex's demands. Your ex will obviously expect things within your relationship to change so that she knows you are no longer being selfish, or hiding things from her. Granted some initial demands your ex may have may not be easy to follow, but they all need to be considered! If you were cheating with someone at your gym, changing gyms is a typical request. If you really want forgiveness is it worth changing gyms? If the person you cheated with is still contacting you, your ex may request you to change your number, or email address most people would say these are reasonable requests.
Before asking your ex to forgive you for cheating, you need to make sure that it is something that is in your past. You must also be sure that it is something that you are willing to work at long term, because there is no simple fix to dishonest behavior.
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