How to Get Your Girlfriend to Eat Like a Model
If you want to learn how to get your girlfriend to eat like a model, tread with caution. Weight is certainly a touchy subject with women. However, by following the steps below, you’ll be able to get your girlfriend to eat like a model in no time at all.
- Beat around the bush: Unless you have a death wish, don’t come right out and tell your girlfriend to eat like a model because you think she’s flabby. Women are vengeful creatures, and she will most certainly make you pay for hurting her feelings. Drop subtle hints rather than openly expressing your disapproval of her eating habits.
- Stop being a “Yes Man”: Next time she asks you, “Does this outfit make me look fat?”, don’t instinctively reply, “of course not!” Instead, look her up and down, pause for a moment, and then say, “Eh, you look fine.” She’ll instinctively eat like a model once she thinks she looks like a sumo wrestler.
- Become the designated cook: If your girl is still eating like Oprah at a Chinese buffet, take matters into your own hands; make her eat like a model by serving her model-worthy food. Appoint yourself as the cook of the household. Stir up some mean salads, steamed fish and veggies and other healthy meals. Remember to serve her model-sized portions. This passive-aggressive tactic will definitely ensure that your girlfriend gets the message while keeping you out of the doghouse.
- Point out hot women: If you point out women that are undoubtedly hotter than your girlfriend, she will instinctively eat like a model in order to fit your definition of sexy. Point out sexy supermodels and actresses while watching TV together. And, if you’re feeling ballsy, check out some of her hotter (and super skinny) friends.
- Make rude jokes: Sometimes, you have to be a bit of a jerk to get your point across. Consider blurting out, “Whoa! Slow down there little piggy, if you keep eating like that, you’ll be on TV with Kirstie Allie!” while she’s serving herself dinner. Be aware: this may not go over well if your girlfriend is sensitive.
- Do evil things: If you’re feeling a little mischievous, it’s time to get down and dirty. Make your little lady think she’s gained weight, even if she hasn’t. Shrink her clothes in the dryer. Pull her car seat closer to the steering wheel. Buy your girl a size XXL dress even though she typically wears a medium. Conversely, you can purchase clothing that is way too small for her to fit into.
If your girlfriend is overweight, getting her to eat like a model will certainly help her shed some pounds. However, if you truly love her, you should primarily be concerned with her health rather than her appearance.
Tip: Be gentle with your criticism. Women hate being told that they're fat; especially when it comes from the man they love.
Warning: If you are overweight, trying to adjust your girlfriend's eating habits may backfire on you. Work on your own eating habits before criticising anyone else's.