How To Get Your Love Back

By: Romilly West

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Wondering how to get your love back? Sometimes a breakup is for the best. Other times, however, your sweetheart left you because of mistakes you've made and hurt you caused. Mentally, you're kicking yourself, wondering how to get your love back and wishing you could go back in time to undo your mistakes. Time machines don't exist, but if you're willing to open your heart and do the work to win back her trust, there's hope.

  1. Be sincere. Everything must flow from sincerity. If you're motivated not from love and respect but from your ego, then don't bother, because even if you get your love back, it won't work over the long haul and will only mean more pain for both of you. Work to get her back only if you sincerely believe that you can treat her better than you did before.
  2. Apologize. The tagline for “Love Story,” the book and the movie, claims that love means you never have to apologize. It couldn't be more wrong. Unless you apologize to your sweetheart for mistakes you've made, you'll be sending her the message that you believe your bad behavior was acceptable. She deserves a heartfelt apology which expresses genuine regret for your behavior and its hurtful impact on her.
  3. Be respectful. You'll never get your love back unless you show her respect. Listen to her while she talks, and don't interrupt. While you're listening, make sure that your body language is respectful and loving, not impatient or hostile. Interruptions and hostile body language convey disrespect, and nothing shrivels a woman's heart more quickly than disrespect.
  4. Be humble. Ego has no place in true love. If you've made mistakes, then one of the best ways to get your love back is to convey to her what you've learned from your mistakes. Don't try to be superman. Show humility and compassion. You'll show your love that you realize you must be vigilant in the day-to-day nurturing of your relationship.
  5. Romance her. Sure, buy her flowers or something she enjoys. Romance, though, is more about words and deeds than about spending money. To get your love back, shower her with warmth and affection. Speak to her from your heart about your love for her and her importance in your life.
  6. Don't just talk the talk; walk the walk. Whatever mistakes you've made, your love needs to know that you aren't going to repeat them. Back up your words with actions. Show her that you're willing and eager to work for what's best for you as a couple in order to help your love survive and thrive.
  7. Be consistent. Each time you interact with your love, show her that she can rely on you and on your change for the better. Consistency, day by day, week by week, and ultimately, year by year, is important not only to get your love back but to keep her by your side.
  8. Be patient. Give her space when she needs it. Regaining a woman's trust takes time. At first, your sweetheart might think you're behaving yourself only for the purpose of getting her back, then you'll fall into hurtful old patterns. Only time will help her see that you're sincere and that your love for her is more important to you than your ego or having to be “right.”
Posted on: Nov. 28, 2010