First of all guys, the very fact that you want to learn about how to give your girlfriend space is a huge step. Why? Because awareness is the key, now all you have to do is take some simple action and you are there.
- Take a look at yourself: OK, so you already know that you are in need of letting go a bit with your girlfriend and giving her more space. Now we need to take an inventory of ourselves and ask why it is that your girlfriend is in need of more space in the first place. Listen up; this won’t work if you make it about her. Seriously, take a look at yourself? Are you being too controlling, concerned and/or over protective of your girlfriend? News flash—this is not your role, and by no means what represents a loving boyfriend. You are not the parent, mentor or the like. Remember you are a romantic partner that enhances hers and your life.
- Give yourself space: Now that you have a list of why you have been resistant to give your girlfriend more space, now just take some time out for yourself and breathe in this new awareness. Don’t pick up the phone to tell her your new realization, just sit with it. Keep it for yourself. The truth is, research states that trusting others usually starts with trusting ourselves. Give yourself the space for it because only then that you will have an understanding of what your girlfriend truly needs.
- Discover what is important to you: Most people have their own understanding of what they want in a relationship. For example, they want to be outdoorsy with their partner, go on a date night or maybe want to have sex with your loved one, first thing in the morning on a weekend. Whatever it is, pick one or two things that are a must for you and then tell your girlfriend your desires. Giving her space doesn’t mean that you stop telling her what you want in the relationship. It’s just that we change the often demand to a request. It shows love not dominance. It’s a huge difference that will make a massive change in your relationship for the better.
- It’s not all about you: Ok here’s the clincher, allowing your girlfriend the space means that she also gets to decide what works for her schedule. Honoring someone space, means that they have a say and contribution within the relationship also. It may not work for her that you want to sleep in on Saturday morning when she wants to commit to a new yoga class at 7am. So, giving your girlfriend space means that she gets to be a part of the schedule you make together. Work with each other. It is possible to get both your needs met.
- Make some bottom-lines for yourself: If you have been calling and checking up on your girlfriend. Stop it right now! Again, this is not your responsibility. Stop it, stop it. That is not what space means. Allow her to have something more to life than just you. It’s not healthy, and quite frankly, it's surprising that you have a girlfriend still—but that in itself is another article and needs to be looked at. OK, so giving your girlfriend space means not calling her at wok unless it is to give her information she needs, such as dinner reservations. If she’s not there, leave a message. Don’t keep calling her. Let her be an adult. She will let you know, when she can, that she has an understanding.
Seriously guys, treat your girlfriend the way you want to be treated. Give her the space that you need. After all, she is your girlfriend, not your daughter!