When the marriage does not work and its time to say goodbye, its important to know how to handle a divorce properly when there are minor children to consider. Life throws us some awful blows at times. You married the perfect fellow and thought you would grow old together. The babies came and then your perfect life was shattered. The life you planned will now end up in a divorce court. But, one of the things you don't want to do is damage your children permanently. Before doing anything that will hurt your minor children, take time and plan how to handle the divorce preventing them from any hurt and guarantee their lives continue with as little interruption as possible.
- Try to discuss the terms of the divorce rationally with your spouse. If at all possible, discuss the terms of your divorce with your soon to be ex. Keep the wellbeing of the children in mind. Make sure to consider what's best for them as the number one priority. Discuss who will have custody and where the children will reside. Normally the mother is the choice of the courts. However, in some court cases, when the mother cannot handle the day to day activities and care of her children, fathers have been granted custody with the mother allowed visitation rights.
- Keep your feelings under control. When minor children are involved and you are can no longer living with your spouse, remember to maintain your calm and be cool when the children are around. Don't bad mouth and put down your ex. If tempers become heightened and anger seems to be out of control, leave. Never allow your children to see the emotional, ugly side of a divorce. While some children can handle this, most often, the impact and stress of fighting parents can cause permanent psychological problems. Keep your emotions in check. If maintaining control appears to be a problem, leave before you become angry or violent.
- Remember your children need both parents. Its important that both parents remain active and present in their children lives. Make sure you and your spouse work out arrangements where both parents can continue to spend quality time with your children before, during and after the divorce is final.
- If the two of you cannot agree on anything or most things, obtain an attorney from the beginning. It sometimes becomes too much of an issue for parties to remain amicable when a divorce is in the works. For this reason, it is always a good idea to have a third party available to handle communications between the two parties. Hire an attorney from the onset. While an attorney will not generally make all visitation arrangements or set schedules, they can establish through the courts an individual to be the go between.
Divorces today can cost thousands. They also can drag on for eons. At the onset, when you realize there is no way your marriage will work nor can it be saved, its time to hire an attorney. Make sure you control yourself enough to keep your children out of the emotional whirlwind. Involving them and allowing them to see altercations between the two of you causes far too many children psychological damage and emotional problems for life.