How To Have Sex With Friend's Mother

Most guys have wondered how to have sex with a friend's mother. For men, to have sex with a friend's mother is a risk because generally friends are not too thrilled about their mother bedding their buddies. For guys who are prepared to be discreet, to have sex with a friend's mother is a dream come true.

1. Test the water. Do not just blurt out to your friend's mother than you wish to have sex. Try to get eye contact. If you are telling a story about something exciting that happened at work, look into the eyes of your friend's mother when you tell it rather than your friend so that she knows she is capable of holding your attention. Make sure you greet her and insist on saying goodbye to her every time you are at your friend's house and see how she responds. If she is dismissive then your friend's Dad is doing his duty, but if she seems happy and excited then she is probably interested in having sex. 
2. Help her out. If you are at your friend's house and you are serious about figuring out how to have sex with your friend's mother, you should clean up after yourself. Leave your friend in front of the TV and go around and collect the empty beer bottles. Show that you care about the environment by putting the bottles in the recycling rather than the trash. Once you have cleaned up, offer to do the dishes. Make her take a seat while you wash the dishes. 
3. Find a reason to drop by when she is alone. Tell your friend's mother that you lost something at the house and you need to find it. Something small is good because it will take ages to find it and require you to reach down the couch and under the beds. Your friend's mother will no doubt help you look. After an extensive search you will both be hot and tired so get her a drink and sit back and relax. Laugh about the fact that you never managed to find the item that you lost but that it was nice to have a chance to hang out.  
4. Bring her some flowers. Return to your friends house the next day so that you are still fresh in his mothers mind. Bring her some red roses and tell her that you wanted to thank her for helping you. Joke that she probably thought he you were just trying to find an excuse to visit her. If she tells you that you are weird and that you should stop coming around, then you should give up and try to find out how to have sex with another friend's mother. If she smiles and says that she enjoys you visiting then you are ready for the final step. 
5. Throw a bucket of water over yourself and show up at your friends house. Tell your friend's mother that your car broke down and you got caught in a freak rain storm and you are afraid that you will catch your death of cold. Ask her if you can borrow some of you friends clothes and take a shower to warm up. If she agrees, strip off in front of her and then act as if you did so without thinking. Feign modesty and cover up your private parts and say something like "I am sorry I should go now." This is the moment when you find out if your plan to have sex with your friend's mother really worked. She will most likely say "no, stay" and insist that you expose your private area. She will then announce that she is ready to have sex with you.