If the woman in your life is a victim of female genital cutting (FGC), it is important for you to know how to have sex with a victim of female circumcision. FGC is done for cultural, religious and non-therapeutic reasons. It is most commonly practiced on young girls in the northern half of Africa and parts of the Middle East. Many people view these procedures as a type of sexual abuse, commonly compared to rape by many of the victims.
Things you'll need:
- A willing partner
- Understand the different types of FGC. Type I is the most common form of female circumcision and the one said the have the least amount of sexual side effects. It involves the partial or total removal of the clitoris and/or the clitoral hood. Type II is the partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora. Type III is the narrowing of vaginal orifice and the repositioning of the labia minora and/or the labia majora. With type III, the clitoris is most commonly removed, but sometimes it is not. Type IV is a procedure that does not involve removal of any tissue.
- Talk openly with the victim of female circumcision. You should be able to talk openly with any sexual partner. It is very important to be able to talk openly to a victim of female circumcision so you can fully understand what she went through. Be patient and understanding as this will probably be very emotional for her.
- Consider consulting a doctor. If the woman has never had sex before, it is probably best to consult a doctor. Many victims of female circumcision are able to have reconstructive surgery. It will also help you understand her condition and decrease the chance of injury.
- Start out slow. Even if this is not the first time the victim of female circumcision has had sexual intercourse, it will still be best to go slowly. There is no need to rush and going slowly means you will understand the differences in her body compared to a woman who has not been victimized. This will allow you to learn the best ways to give her pleasure.
- Use lubrication. Depending on what type of FGC was performed, she might have an issue with dryness. Typically, if any procedure has been done to the clitoris, there is a chance she will not be able to make natural lubrication. Again, every case is different. Making sure she is properly lubricated will help increase the chance of giving her pleasure and decrease the chance of further injury.
- Understand she might not be able to orgasm easily (if at all) and if she can achieve orgasm, what kind she can get. The most common type of orgasms for a woman to get is clitoral; sadly, since many cases of FGC involve damage to the clitoris. This does mean she might still be able to achieve G-spot orgasms. The G-spot, or Gräfenberg Spot, is located one to three inches up the front vaginal wall. There are even sex toys that can be purchased to help stimulate the G-spot. Regardless if the woman can or cannot orgasm, it can be a sensitive attitude. Many men have the attitude that they must make their partner orgasms. While normally this is a great attitude to have, it might put too much pressure on a victim of female circumcision. Your focus should be on giving your partner pleasure and not orgasms.