How To Help Other Men In Abusive Relationships
Any good friend who's seen a buddy get hurt knows that learning how to help other men in abusive relationships is critical. Regardless of your gender, relationship abuse is a serious problem that can have an immensely negative affect on your physical and mental well being. Here are some guidelines that will make sure you know how to properly handle the situation.
- Listen. The revelation that your friend suffers from relationship abuse may come as a total shock to you. Even if you're unprepared to deal with the news you receive, it's important to simply provide a friendly ear because your pal definitely has a lot on his mind. Before you can truly help, you need to understand his point of view, including the reasons he stayed in the relationship. Although you probably won't agree with some of his actions, it's not your place to make him feel any worse than he does already.
- Be sensitive. If you only suspect your male buddy is being subjected to relationship abuse, don't just blurt it when you see him. It's important to be direct, so he can't skirt the issue, but remember that your choice of words will definitely have an effect.
- Don't make jokes. Many men like to poke fun at each other and there are even cultural rituals built around doing so, but where relationship abuse is concerned, this sort of thing has no place. Even joking with others who aren't likely to relay what was said to your abused friend is a huge betrayal of confidence, regardless of whether they know about it. People who suffer from relationship abuse are highly likely to already feel embarrassed about his situation, meaning that it probably took him a whole lot of courage to even seek your help, so be a friend, not a jerk.
- Help them get professional help. You shouldn't try to play mediator because abusers generally don't appreciate it when the targets of their anger bring close outsiders in and this usually only worsens their abusive tendencies. Your friend needs help from a professional third party who has no association with the couple, making professional therapy and recovering a good option, even if only the guy attends the relationship abuse counseling session.
- Be supportive as they move on. Escaping relationship abuse is made tougher by the fact that many abused people don't feel like they've got anywhere else to go. Even if you can't provide him with a couch or guest room for a week or so while they transition, you can really help by presenting them with more options than they're currently thinking of. Make helpful suggestions, ask about relatives he could stay with and help him develop a support network, so he has viable alternatives to simply going back to the abusive situation he just came from.