How To Hide Porn From Her

It may not be the biggest of your worries but it’s good to know how to hide porn from her. It not only makes you seem less clueless, it keeps you from getting your butt chewed if she finds it. Many women are strange when it comes to porn. They think it reflects on their attractiveness rather than your libido. You can have your libido and satisfy it, too, if you’re willing to take a few precautions about where you stash your porn.

  1. Off-site is best. Ok, not everyone has a private, easily accessible man cave like your own separate office or a fishing shack. If you’re one of the lucky ones, though, that’s the place to hide your porn. If she never goes near it, she can’t find it. Case closed.
  2. If you have to keep your porn in the space you share with her, consolidate it. The more places you have to store your porn the more likely she is to find it. If you have porn on your cell, your PDA, your laptop, your desktop and in a cardboard box in the closet you’re just asking for trouble. Move the porn from all of your gadgets to just one or two. If you can’t do without what’s in the cardboard box, at least stick it somewhere she rarely looks, like in your ammo box.
  3. Once you consolidate your porn on a gadget, hide it deep.  Make a folder for something legitimate that doesn’t interest her, like images from your collection of best HEMIs of the '60s. In that folder make subfolders for different makes and in those make more subfolders for different  years. Then make a folder for your porn in one of those subfolders. Don’t forget to label it something HEMI-like. Labeling it “Hidden Porn” would not be right. Or bright.
  4. If you’re handy, make a special place to hide your porn. A hidden wall safe or cleverly concealed hole under a floorboard will work. Be sure it’s in a room she doesn’t frequent and make it lockable. If you’re not handy, hire a professional, otherwise you might accidentally give yourself away by creating a squeaky board or bashing your thumb beyond recognition.
  5. Whatever you do and wherever you hide your porn, make it so she can’t find it accidentally. She should have to work to find it. That way if, against all odds and advice, she does find your porn, she will have been snooping. Snooping is a far greater crime than having porn and calling her on it is one of those times when your best defense is a good offense.

 

 

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