How To Improve Confidence

By: Dee Jones

Break Studios Contributing Writer

Figuring out how to improve confidence isn’t that difficult. In fact, there are dozens of things you can do that will give you more confidence and help you feel more self-assured. The problem is that many of the methods are so simple, we just never think of them. After all, if anything is really worthwhile, it has to be difficult and complicated, right? Not necessarily. In fact, here are some simple things anyone can do to improve confidence, especially when it comes to dealing with members of the opposite sex.

  1. Get into the “smiling habit.” It’s amazing how many people can go through an entire day without once cracking a smile, which is unfortunate when you consider how many benefits a simple smile can have, including improving your confidence. For one, just a simple change of facial expression can help you feel better. For another, we are drawn to people who seem to be happy and content, which is the impression you send when you “turn your frown upside down.” Another plus is that a smile will make you seem more approachable. Don’t be surprised if more people, including women, come up to talk to you when you make smiling a habit.
  2. Accept compliments. How many times has someone given you a compliment only for you to say something like, “I didn’t really do anything special” or “But I’m really not that good.” Stop that. Instead, say a simple, “Thank you.” Accepting that you deserve the praise you receive will go a long way towards improving your confidence.
  3. Stop putting yourself down. If you are serious about improving your confidence, the first thing you have to do is stop putting yourself down. Along with having a hard time accepting compliments, a lot of people have gotten into the habit of “bad mouthing” themselves. In fact, many have a constant stream of negative self-talk running through their heads 24/7. “I’m not good at talking to women.” “I can’t do this.” “Why would anyone be interested in me?” And the unfortunate thing is, if you say these kinds of things to yourself often enough, they will become true. So start paying attention to the things you say to yourself. And when you catch yourself having a negative, self-defeating thought, stop it in its tracks.
  4. Replace negative self-talk affirmations. It’s easier to stop mentally putting yourself down when you have positive thoughts to replace the negative ones. Instead of thinking, “I can’t do this” think, “Of course I can do this.” Instead of thinking, “I suck at talking to women” think, “I’m pretty good at talking to women.” Just as with negative self-talk, if you say positive things to yourself long enough, you will eventually start to believe them. And, as a result, your confidence will grow.
Posted on: Sep. 13, 2010